I’m tired, my boobs hurt, and I still have bad posture (And don’t forget your mood swings). I am not different this year. Nope, my “pregnancy pill”- as Beau calls it- is currently sucking every ounce of normal from my body. I can barely sleep because my boobs keep pushing against each other and since they’re sore, everything hurts! Birth control is torture. Specifically, hormonal pills. Why do they exist, aside from keeping you from having children and somewhat clearing your face?

So, to somewhat change the subject, mom is suddenly interested in my life now. More importantly, the Beau portion of my life. You know, the one that’s starting to invade, almost, my every thought. Like how I’ve thought about him asking me a certain question. Erm, I’m trying not to think about it because we’ve only been together for a little over 6 months. Anyway, mom wants to meet Beau and at first, mom wanted Beau to meet everyone (minus the step dad) and by everyone, I mean the immediate family so that’s grandparents included. All of my best friends, except one have met him and all testify that he’s great. Except maybe Nickie G. She keyed his gut and left a bruise… for no reason apparently. I’m unsure of her actions, sometimes.

Continuing, the three of us were unable to come up with a solid meet point on Saturday since Beau is going hiking (if there is a God then keep that boy safe. I don’t want him on one of the missing hikers’ videos I watch) and mom and I plan to do a late Christmas at the grandparents. So, we decided to meet, just the three of us, on Sunday at Newks which is like 12/20 but cheaper. Then, after Beau leaves for work, I know the reason mom suggested we go to Books-A-Million afterward is so she can grill me. I know for a fact she’ll ask if we’ve had sex. One time, when mom was really drunk, she told me that before I turn lesbian (because apparently bi-sexuality isn’t my final form) I have to try dick. Okay, I’ve tried dick and obviously touched vagina and I’m still the same. I enjoy the dick, which will be mom’s next question. A third possible one that I think she’d only ask if she were drunk is if I’d go full dick. What a silly mom she is. When she’s drunk, she asks weird questions. She can also be a bit blunt which is also funny in its’ own way. One time, when I told her of my first gynecological visit, she gave me a solid burn about not taking them up on their offer to give me birth control so I could clear up my acne. To put it in mom’s words, “Didn’t they look at your face?”

Um, anyway, lets take one step to the right but keep the same path. Mom already knows we’ve been together 6 months, have I already covered that? Regardless, she commented that our relationship was serious and she felt way behind in my life. Brendan, Sarah, and Grayson have already met him and I’ve met Beau’s parents and siblings. So, I guess you could say she’s behind. I know that he doesn’t have to meet my grandparents, so if we ever get married before he meets them, the wedding is gonna be hilarious.

Y’all, I’m so cynical right now. It wouldn’t be hilarious but it kinda would be. 

Should we get married one day? Oof, that’s a tough question. I’m kinda torn about whether I should let my mind wonder into the abyss of the idea of marriage. I have to admit that I’ve never really thought to hard about marriage. I just don’t like the idea of sharing my money and space with someone else. I also don’t like the idea of weddings because they’re so expensive and I feel like they just resemble the diamond industry: unnecessary and expensive. Not that I 100% don’t want a ring, either. I just don’t like them that much. I’d prefer a small wedding and a small engagement ring. Maybe even just one of those plain bands. I like those. Q told me he doesn’t. Big rings tend to break easier. You swing your hand near a wall and, boom, the diamonds pop out. Anyway, I’m tired and I need to sleep.


Published by iffybiffy

Hi! I started this blog to talk about exploring deeper into my mental health! I tend to understand things better as I write or type them down so there are time where things may not make sense to you but, fear not, it's just me understanding things. if you would like to get in contact with me, email me at iffybiffy100@gmail.com. See you online-

Leave a Reply

Fill in your details below or click an icon to log in:

WordPress.com Logo

You are commenting using your WordPress.com account. Log Out /  Change )

Google photo

You are commenting using your Google account. Log Out /  Change )

Twitter picture

You are commenting using your Twitter account. Log Out /  Change )

Facebook photo

You are commenting using your Facebook account. Log Out /  Change )

Connecting to %s

%d bloggers like this: