I’ve decided that for my next Christmas present, I want the complete set of Sex in the City. Half of the disks freeze up and I haven’t even seen the full episode where Samantha learns she has breast cancer. 

Speaking of breasts, mine still hurts and I ended up taking a nap right after I got home from work so sleeping’s gonna be even harder to do. Okay but also, my legs are so hairy right now that if I rub them together it actually hurts. My hair is actually abrasive! The main reason is because shaving in the shower where it’s clogged and the only light we have in the bathroom comes from the lamp that’s connected to an extension cord because our outlets haven’t worked in either bathrooms for several months sucks at showing hair on legs. Our outlets stopped working on the left side of the kitchen so, yay, more extension cords! Anyway, I kinda want to shave my legs now, but that would mean either one of two things: I hop in the shower and end up washing my hair like I usually do which will cause my hair to puff up or I will have to shave in the tub and I don’t get hot water there. No one likes a cold-water shave. Or even cold water on their skin.

Okay, so tomorrow my family is doing a late Christmas at the grandparents and I can feel the questions bubbling up from my mom’s mouth already. She’s gonna bring him up to grandma and grandpa, I know it. I need to wear the new make-up trick I just tried to avoid the reddening of my face as all eyes will fall on me. God, I have such a love/hate relationship with attention. Gimme attention, but on my terms. 

On another note, I’ve been thinking of quitting work, recently. I have multiple good reasons but the thing is, they’re about to train me at the front desk, and I like the schedule they have mean on. The problems, though, stack up. First, I only make $400 (if I have a long week) a paycheck and I only get two paychecks a month. That’s not enough for rent, plus bills, plus gas and groceries, and savings. Second, I miss having my weekends and a set schedule. I like knowing when I come in and when I leave without having to wait for a schedule every couple of weeks. Third, for as hard as I work, I don’t feel like I get enough hours, nor am I paid enough. I mean, $8.15 an hour when I know how to do two jobs, now?! I think I want a job where I’m paid a minimum of at least $10. I know that sounds whiney but anything below that is really not live-able and I’m tryna do that right now considering I’ve been mentally not trying to do so. Plus, I need the extra money for future therapy sessions. See, my problem is that I don’t think I can say, “Hey bossman, don’t bother training me at front desk cuz I plan to leave soon.” I’m pretty sure he’d just let me go right there. At the same time, I don’t think it would be for the best if I left right after being trained. I think I’ll stay long enough to see how I like front desk and see how crazy my schedule gets, then I’ll jump ship. 

Brendan and Sarah offered me to stay at their place until I can get my own apartment in Tallassee or Montgomery. I would love that offer, but I’m still on the fence about living with Nickie G. and I’m even more on the fence about Tristan (twin brother). I was yelling to myself in the car at Books-A-Million’s parking lot about how awful it was that Tristan couldn’t do the easiest thing of going back to his old job (they were possibly the only place that would hire him on the spot) and just staying there to help us with the bills until he finds a better job. He’s so self-centered that he can’t even help us out! How is it that he who has been given so much over the last few years to help him out and, yet he is still not doing anything to pull his weight. Tristan doesn’t HAVE to go to college or get a high paying job, but can he PLEASE just help out!

Okay, I really need to go to bed. I’m doing too much overthinking and we all know what that does to you.

Published by iffybiffy

Hi! I started this blog to talk about exploring deeper into my mental health! I tend to understand things better as I write or type them down so there are time where things may not make sense to you but, fear not, it's just me understanding things. if you would like to get in contact with me, email me at iffybiffy100@gmail.com. See you online-

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