1-8-20

Woah, I typed 2010 instead of 2020 for a second there. 

So, I just woke up and it’s currently 9:28 AM which means that B (the other Breakfast Attendant at work) is just starting to close up and she’ll be outta there in roughly 2 hours. Boy, it felt good to not have to wake up at 3:15 AM. It’s gonna be even better tonight because I’ll be spending the night at Beau’s place so I can relax a bit easier. Granted, I’d be more relaxed in my own home if it wasn’t falling apart. Also, the fleas are starting to come back and last night I killed one of those small outside spiders. Terminix will be coming soon, but I might call them for an earlier appointment so they can bomb for the fleas. I just hate it cuz you have to be out of the house for 4 hours. So does every living creature. Oreo can just go do his outside thing but Alfie and the Gerbils will have to be moved somewhere comfortable for the time being. The last time they bombed for fleas I went over to Brendan and Sarah’s house so I’m kinda thinking of asking them to do that again. I may just spend the night with them next week or something. I’ll figure it out.

Nickie G and I are still looking into some places to move into. It’s a bit harder to do since she still hasn’t found another job. It’s kind of annoying since I told her she better start actually looking for a job before the end of the temp UPS job she’s had for the past month or so. The temp job hasn’t called her in the past two weeks so, we screwed if this keeps up. See, I know if I asked her if she’s been looking she’d tell me yes and remind me of the Distillery which is a bare-boned bar across the tracks from the Pub in Downtown Opelika that my friend Zoe and I saw a rat in and “fondly” called him Steve. Thing is, she’s been with this guy named Nathan the past three days and don’t get me wrong, I’m super happy she’s found a guy to treat her the way she deserves, but next months’ bills are gonna hit us before we know it and I ain’t about to pay them myself. Damn, Mr. Dunn would have killed my grade with that word.

10:37 AM Update because Nickie G literally just woke up like 2 minutes ago. She has an Open House interview with Aldi on Friday which is one of those “save the Earth” stores where you bring re-usable bags in for your groceries and you have to carry a quarter around with you if you want to get a buggy. Granted, you get the quarter back as long as you put the buggy back in its’ designated place which is sad that people don’t do to begin with. I’m really hoping she gets this job because I’m not only tired of her only getting temp jobs, but I’m sure we’ll HAVE to move to the Opelika/Auburn area now. I say this because I’ve been thinking of moving to Montgomery or Tallassee but this pushes different.

I’ve also been thinking about internships and taking classes at Auburn, again. Yesterday, I was washing dishes at work when it hit me: if I get more hours (i.e. make roughly $600 a paycheck) I could start putting money aside to take a class or two here and there to push for my writing degree. Not only that, but I’d be qualified to partake in some of Auburn’s internships and maybe I could get the boat sailing from there. I would literally just need 2 more hours a day at work and I could start the race. Now, I just gotta figure out how to convince Bossman to let me be a full-time employee instead of part-time. If that doesn’t work, then I will quit but I don’t want to give up the job without asking first. One of the things I hate about new jobs is having to learn the whole process. Once I get good, all my anxiety washes away. I just hate the process to arrive at that point.

I have to admit that I’m still struggling with the anticipation anxiety of seeing Beau. It never fails to hit me when we have plans to meet. There’s always anticipation of us having sex which I want to have (don’t get me wrong) but the build up to have it is horrible on my stomach. I literally will have stomach aches until we do it and then I feel this amazing release (not to be confused with orgasming) and I’m immediately 10x more comfortable with him. I love that feeling and I wish it was always there to begin with but I can’t figure out how to stop the anticipation anxiety from hitting. Judging from the fact that it goes away, I can tell I’m the one making it happen. I just don’t understand how to get it to stop. I haven’t told him about it either cuz I don’t want any extra worrying going on.

I really need to get ready and maybe do a little “at the swings” chilling but I’m having a hard time getting a move on. Mainly cuz I want to do some shaving and that literally takes up like all the hot water and then some and no one likes a cold shower. 

I’ve been thinking about letting Beau and Q in on my blog but I know there’s at least one post I’ll have to hide about getting married. There’s no way I want Beau in on that so early into the relationship. Granted, we are almost in at 7 months. I think 10 months and up is a good amount of time to even think about talking about marriage but not in a serious kind of way. Just in like a hypothetical way and maybe after a year or so, just kind of lay down an idea about it. Like, “maybe we can get married after schooling is done or maybe after we move in together” type talking. Not so much “lets just get married one day”. Kind of like setting up a line of not talking about it seriously until a certain point.

Published by iffybiffy

Hi! I started this blog to talk about exploring deeper into my mental health! I tend to understand things better as I write or type them down so there are time where things may not make sense to you but, fear not, it's just me understanding things. if you would like to get in contact with me, email me at iffybiffy100@gmail.com. See you online-

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