4-13-20

I’m writing at 1:48am and I’m sorry if this has a lot of errors in spelling. I’m avoiding turning on too many lights in the house so I won’t wake up Sarah or Grayson.

So, I’m caught between two directions right now. And I mean right this second. Basically, the two directions are negative and positive. I have a huge tendency to listen or watch something that changes my personality for a bit. I’m assuming this is normal for most people, though. It’s just, I’ve been listening to Tessa Violet’s Bad Ideas album and it happens that every time I even get halfway through the album I want to crack out my wine, paint my lips dark, dress in that hot but a total bitch kinda way, and sit in my negative thoughts. I’m very confused about that since I actually kind of want to go through a phase like that but then about 2 hours later (sometimes more) I come back to my senses and repeat the process. I think about jumping into a negative habit like drinking more so I can enjoy that feel good tipsy time. I just wish I felt better. Anyway, the more positive direction is to type out my feelings, talk with my counselor, and dig down into my project for dad.

Okay, it’s almost 3am. I need to go to bed.

Published by iffybiffy

Hi! I started this blog to talk about exploring deeper into my mental health! I tend to understand things better as I write or type them down so there are time where things may not make sense to you but, fear not, it's just me understanding things. if you would like to get in contact with me, email me at iffybiffy100@gmail.com. See you online-

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