I’m not sure when this started, maybe when I was in elementary or middle school, but I seem to recall being petrified of being late. Or missing the bus. As I’ve grown, the thought of being late to things, work especially, has taken ahold of my alarm system in my head and on my phone. I used to just use my alarm clock and make sure I had both settings set to a similar time in case one didn’t wake me, but I don’t have that clock anymore. Now I have to use two alarms on my phone and one on my actual alarm clock because I’m anxious that I’ll wake up and the power will have gone out so my alarm won’t have gone off. But I always make sure I put my phone on charge, even if it’s at 50% because what if my phone dies in the middle of the night because the power went out and now I just won’t wake up?
What I find ironic is that I could probably just use my body’s sleeping schedule as an alarm. Often times, I’m awake by 730am. Now don’t get me wrong, if I have the day off I’m not getting out of bed until a few hours later. Still, I can’t trust that. Even if my body is so anxious that I always wake up early, what if I don’t? That’s always a haunting thought.
Another problem I seemed to have with time is the moment I wake up, I’m talking the first second I can even blink, I’m immediately looking at the time. I may have 3 alarms but what if I don’t wake up to them for some dumb reason? I don’t sleep through alarms. I’m so anxious about time that I usually wake up before the alarm or I jolt awake the minute the loud noise starts. Hell, I’ve caught myself jumping the moment I open my eyes and the first thought I have is “What time is it?”
Does anyone else struggle with this issue? I’ve struggled for years and I don’t want to worsen it like I have. Although it seems the anxiety over time has gradually taken hold on the matter.