Nothing out of Nowhere

I used to get really down in the dumps at the most random of times. I’d be telling myself, “I’m gorgeous” one minute and then drinking cheap wine as I scroll through social media and see people who are doing better than me. Sometimes, I can tell when the “down” is about to hit, other times it just smacks me in the a** like beach waves. (Some of my deceased family members reading this will get that reference) However, I started back on my medication a few months ago and I haven’t been genuinely down in so long. Until now, that is. I thought it was a faux “down” because I was so up yesterday as I spent an amazing day with a friend of mine and then I came home and went from the slow sink of quicksand to a hasty drop into one of Team Rocket’s fake pits. I started thinking about true love and what that felt like. And whether I should be doing open relationships when I don’t love them in a relationship kind of way but I love their presence and being. I love them as friends but act different with them than my other friends. Confusion. Yes.

God, I can never seem to understand myself. Right now, I feel nothing except the warmth of coffee which I’ve been avoiding all last weekend.

Published by iffybiffy

Hi! I started this blog to talk about exploring deeper into my mental health! I tend to understand things better as I write or type them down so there are time where things may not make sense to you but, fear not, it's just me understanding things. if you would like to get in contact with me, email me at See you online-

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