I know I haven’t posted in a while. And I’m actually at work right now so I shouldn’t be posting but I just think I needed to get these feelings off my chest.
The past month has been hell on me mentally and physically. I practically live at work. I’ve come to dislike going to work and the dislike is growing. I’ve only ever hated a workplace once in my life and I don’t want this place to be added to that list. To cut a month long story short, a former coworker walked out on their post in the middle of their shift and I had to deal with the aftermath. Not to mention, the next day we had another coworker quit so it was just two front desk going back to back 12 hour shifts for a few days while our boss had to take time to be with a passing close family member. It was just a terrible time all around. I got very little sleep and came very close to asking if I could actually stay at the hotel to avoid driving drowsy. My boss would have let me, I’m sure, but I decided not to bother them and just used caffeine drinks/pills to power through. Our boss actually came back quicker than what would have been recommended for them. A couple days after their family member’s funeral they were back in their office trying to right all the mess that had been happening and then hiring as fast as possible. Things are better now and I finally have a day off after a couple weeks of hell. I’m still mentally exhausted and hope things will return to normalcy soon. I can’t ask for the impossible but I can still dream.
I’m just getting so tired of seeing this workplace, of thinking about it. I’d love to go days without it and have a vacation. I made a bigger check than I’ve ever had but I’m too tired to spend it. All I do all day is buy snacks and eat them while I slowly fall asleep to YouTube videos. I’m not kidding, it’s what I do. Every. Day. This place hasn’t been very good for me and I was warned about that before I moved here. I miss a lot of my family and any chance I can go visit them is always amazing. My lease ends in the summer. I’ll have to make some choices then. I think I pretty much already have though. I just don’t think I could stay in this town another year. I’m not the same type of crazy everyone else is here.