3/30/21

I don’t understand how people can just express themselves. Emotions are hard enough to understand, let alone tell others those feelings. My therapist is gonna get a load of all this on Friday. All our sessions have just been me talking about everything but my feelings and I get the feeling she’s getting tired ofContinue reading “3/30/21”

I was Denied for Life Insurance because of My Mental Health

At the end of last year I applied for life insurance because of Covid-19 scaring the crap out of me and they told me they were gonna get in contact with my doctor. I was already told I might get denied because I smoke every once in a while and I was okay with that.Continue reading “I was Denied for Life Insurance because of My Mental Health”

How do people just let go?

Some of you may know that I’ve been doing therapy for a little while since I moved. I’ve got some trauma in my life that I’ve struggled to let go and let’s be honest, I have no idea how to actually do that. I keep thinking I have to physically let go or something toContinue reading “How do people just let go?”

Nothing out of Nowhere

I used to get really down in the dumps at the most random of times. I’d be telling myself, “I’m gorgeous” one minute and then drinking cheap wine as I scroll through social media and see people who are doing better than me. Sometimes, I can tell when the “down” is about to hit, otherContinue reading “Nothing out of Nowhere”

7-2-20 Part 1 of Assessment

As I said in a previous post, I was going to get psychologically assessed to help to determine what the hell I’m dealing with. I won’t go far into detail because there are some things better left between the doc and I. Anyway, I went and saw her yesterday and it was the most pleasantContinue reading “7-2-20 Part 1 of Assessment”

Finally starting to feel up

I know I usually post a lot when I’m down but I was just too down last week. My birthday was just me choosing to be alone so I could nurse my mental wounds with Seagrams and Marlboros. I did get some money from my parents which turned into groceries. I finally felt like I’dContinue reading “Finally starting to feel up”

Is depression a form of molasses?

Because I can practically feel it taking over the blood in my body. Everything feels so slow, even the amazing experiences I’ve had, today. I’ve been wanting to make content all day but every time I type up something, I just want to chuck my laptop across the room. Nothing I type feels good! IContinue reading “Is depression a form of molasses?”

Have you heard of Maladaptive Daydreaming?

Between the ages of 5 and 10, I lived in a very old house where there are a few indentations in the walls from when I used to lightly but repeatedly bang my head while I daydreamed. I later found out, through a night’s worth of research, that this was a common symptom of somethingContinue reading “Have you heard of Maladaptive Daydreaming?”

A moment of clarity

How long will this last? Who knows. All I know is that I’m taking advantage of it because, as per my last post, I’m tired and I’m tired of making posts with such negative (although true- I cannot deny myself of my emotions) content. Earlier today, as I was clicking through link after link ofContinue reading “A moment of clarity”